10 days of Solitude

A casual chat with a friend led to chance knowledge about Vipassana. I had never heard of this before and when I came to know about this, my curious mind got active and I looked it up in Google, went to their website and enrolled myself in one of their 10 days workshop. I wanted to explore and experience meditation and the effects of the same.

Vipassana, which means to see things as they really are, is one of India's most ancient techniques of meditation. It was taught in India more than 2500 years ago as a universal remedy for universal ills, i.e., an Art of Living. Unfortunately, this practice got lost in India but was practiced in it's purest form in Myanmar. The practice has been handed down through Guru-Shishya parampara over centuries and was brought back to India in 1968 by Mr. S.N. Goenka and is being practiced all over India ever since. Adorned with this information, I land up at their meditation centre, Dhamma Ganga located at Panihati (West Bengal) on 3rd May, 2023 and register myself. There were people from all walks of life and various age groups, starting from 18 and going up till people in their 70s. I was pleasantly surprised to see how youngsters had come in search of spirituality. 

Day 0 - Once registration was done, we had to put our valuables and mobile phones in lockers assigned to us and deposit the keys to the Management, which would be returned to us after 10 days. Imagine, 10 days without phones and disconnected from the outer world! That was the first challenge. We were assigned our rooms and after that, we gathered in the dining area for the last meal of the day at 6.00 pm. After dinner, we had an orientation session wherein we were briefed about the system, rules and regulations to be followed in the following days ahead. We were to practice noble silence which included any communication through gestures as well. We were to consider that we were living all alone. Another big challenge! The only communication would be with the volunteers (sevak/sevikas), which too is minimal, for help you might need, and with the teacher for anything related to the meditation. After the orientation and a brief introduction to meditation, we retired to our respective rooms for the day. 

Day 1 starts with a wake-up bell at 4.00 AM. By 4.30, we gathered in the meditation hall and the training process started. The first task was to concentrate on your breath...inhalation, exhalation and how and where your breath is feeling in your nasal cavity and the area around it. One needed to stay focussed right there and the mind, the playful nature that it has, was eager to run around all over. One had to forcibly put a leash on it to stay focused. The game of playing truant went on for 2 hours before we got our first break at 6.30 AM. Breakfast was ready at the dining hall and we self-helped and ate in silence in our designated place. After breakfast, we went to our quarters for bathing and other personal chores and had to be back at the meditation hall at 8.00 am to continue meditation till 11.00 AM, when it is time for lunch and rest break. The break was till 1.00 PM. Well fed and well rested, we all scooted to the meditation hall at 1.00 PM to start back to back sittings till 5.00 PM for yet another break which was a very welcome relief from the arduous routine. Back at the dining hall for tea/milk, puffed rice and a fruit, this was the last meal of the day. After eating and a short walk around the campus, I used to go to the room to stretch my back until the bell rang again at 5.50 PM to gather in the hall. By then, the backbone was screaming in protest for making it sit ramrod straight the whole day. But I was there and I had to do what I came for. The evening sessions started at 6.00 PM for an hour long meditation session followed by a one and half hours of discourse, where they showed recorded video of Mr. Goenka addressing us about the technique, the purpose, the process. This was the most interesting part of the whole day and I used to look forward to this sessions for the next 9 days and believe me, I am not a patient person to sit and listen to someone speaking for more than an hour but these talks really managed to keep me hooked. This was followed by another 30 mins meditation session where you are given a glimpse of what you are expected to do the next day. The day ended at 9.00 PM and we retired to our respective rooms, ready to hit the bed.

What a day! Who would have expected that I would endure 10+ hours of sitting, focusing on myself in one place and falling asleep by 9.30 PM. I was discovering myself, wasn't I!! 

This went on for the next 10 days. Through the technique that is taught here, you are first expected follow discipline and the codes of conduct laid down. This helps one to calm their mind and stay focused. Next is to focus on your breath and gain mastery over your mind through that. On the fourth day, when the mind is calm and focused, the practice of Vipassana is introduced : observing sensations throughout the body, understanding their nature, and developing equanimity by learning not to react to them. 

This whole process is too surreal to explain. You introspect yourself at the molecular level by directing all your focus inside of you. Feelings and emotions which are buried deep inside surface out and your body reacts to it, either in the form of sadness or happiness but you are expected to witness it in a neutral way, like a bystander. Sounds weird right? But you actually can and once you do it, your heart feels light, liberated, as if you have just untied a knot. I have witnessed different people reacting in different ways. This is the beauty of the practice, your findings are through your own experience, not influenced by what others have felt. Finally, on the last day participants learn the technique of spreading love, kindness or goodwill towards all through meditation, in which the purity developed during the course is shared with all beings. 

The 10th day had another reason to look forward to. We were given our phones back at 10.00 AM and our silence comes to an end. We get to talk and oh boy how much we talked with strangers who had become family by then. After making calls to our family, we all gathered and started getting to know each other. The routine was slack unlike other days, so we had ample time to talk. The dining hall, especially, which used to have pin drop silence came alive with continuous chatter. To sum it all up, this workshop was an eye-opener in many ways. The takeaway, apart from the learnings, was getting to know a wonderful bunch of people and a few lifelong friends.

The Backpackers' Escapade

A spontaneous decision during a post lunch walk with colleagues to go on a short all girls trip made us gear up for this wonderful 3 day outing to Chandipur, Panchlingeshwar and Devkund in the Simlipal Forest Range. Since it was four girls travelling, security was a major issue. I contacted my friend who is in the Armed Forces and posted in Chandipur about the logistics and he readily agreed to help us out with it. Our rooms were booked in the Army Guesthouse and cars were arranged for our pick up, drop and local transportation.

We reached Balasore by Dhauli at 9.30 a.m. and headed straight to Panchlingeshwar which is about 26 km from Balasore. The weather was scorching but that didn’t prevent us from hiking the hill which has a flight of stairs of about 311 steps. On reaching the top, we waited in a long queue to offer puja. As the name suggests, the Shiva temple has five shiv lingas submerged in a small pool and it was quite a test of your physical flexibility to reach out and touch them. Pujas offered, darshan done, we descended to where our car was waiting and it was a relief to get inside the airconditioned car.

A one and half hours drive brought us to our guesthouse at Chandipur where we were put up for the next couple of days. We checked in and after freshening up and a quick lunch had a nice afternoon siesta. In the evening, we went out for a stroll on the beach. It was low tide and the sea had receded by about 5 kms, a speciality of this particular beach. One gets to see and touch the water only during high tide.

The next day after having a sumptuous breakfast and packing some dry lunch for us to carry, we hit the road for Devkund. Devkund falls under the Simlipal Forest Reserve and is apprx 86 kms from Chandipur. The driver deposited us at the trail entrance and the first thing that greeted us was lush green foliage, sound of crickets and streams. Despite the heat it was enough to lift out spirits for the trek that lay ahead. We started our walk through the forest, drinking in the beauty, clicking photos and posing to be clicked.

After about 2 kms walk, we reached Devkund which is a waterfall amidst the forest. We could see a temple on top of the waterfall and decided to visit it too. We enquired to the other tourists as to how far it is and got various versions. So we decided to explore on our own. It was a climb of 400 stairs through the forest with trees canopying above you, providing shade and coolness. We reached the temple only to find more beauty awaiting us. The source of the Devkund waterfall, which we saw below is another small waterfall that forms a lake above. It was very tempting for a plunge but since there was no place to change into dry clothes, we let ourselves capture the beauty in our cameras. After spending some more time in the tranquility of the forest, it was time to climb down. We retraced our steps and came back to our car. After all those physical exercise, we were pretty famished so we had our lunch in the car.

Speaking of food, actually we were perpetually hungry. We actually gorged on all the food the guesthouse had to offer. Be it chicken and onion pakodas as evening snacks or yummy sea food during lunch or dinner, we managed to compensate all our sweating by eating like people out of famine.

The last day was spent taking dips in the sea. It was the day we were supposed to catch the train back home so sea bathing was a short affair. The three days went by quickly and as the saying goes … “All good things come to an end” and so did this trip. We had the most amazing time, thanks to the arrangements made by my army friend.

A Marriage made in Hell - Misuse of IPC 498/498a

A boy (Raghav), with his family, meets a girl (Mita)’s family. They like each other and they discuss marriage. The date is set ………. Preparations on its way and then comes the D-Day. Raghav and Mita get married in what we call a dream wedding. Friends, relatives and guests go back happy and satisfied and Mita starts her new journey at Raghav’s home. Months pass by and like every new couple they too get busy leading their lives until one day I hear a shocking news….. Raghav and his parents got arrested for torturing the bride u/s IPC 498A. I have known Raghav’s family for ages. So, the first reaction was that of disbelief. How could they do this!!!

IPC 498A states that….

Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine. The offence is Cognizable, non-compoundable and non-bailable.

Though the term ‘Cognizable’ means the complaint made by the girl’s family needs to be registered and investigated but in reality arrests are done based on complaints and no investigation is done about the authenticity.


However, after spending some strenuous days of mental torture in the jail, Raghav and his parents are set free. Mita’s family has agreed for an out of court settlement wherein they have demanded an obnoxious sum of money as alimony. Raghav has agreed upon the alimony just to get rid of Mita and her blackmails and lead a peaceful life.
This story might sound familiar to many people. Some may have faced it directly and others may know someone who has been through this ordeal.


Women have been subject to torture for dowry for ages. They have been beaten, burned alive, murdered. Some of the groom’s family has been punished and many have managed to dupe the law. In order to safeguard the women from torture in their matrimonial homes, the IPC was amended and 498A was inserted in our legal system. But do the real victims ever seek justice!!! A study shows that if you pick up 10 men randomly from the street, at least 7 of them would have IPC 498 imposed on them.


A law which was made to protect the women has become an aid for them to blackmail and extort money from the groom’s family. There have been many instances where the guy had to commit suicide under pressure as he could not bear the harassment he had to face from the girl, her family and the corrupt legal system. The so called ‘abala nari’ gets an upper hand to harass her husband and his family in the name of torture and gets away with a nice amount of money.


Isn’t it high time proper amendments are made in the law so that the innocents don’t get harassed and the offenders are punished??


I invite my friends to put your inputs/opinions on this issue. Experts comments are also welcome as this has become a problem in every second household.

Revisiting Rishyap

Today I am writing after a looong gap basically on the insistence of two very dear friends of mine.

Let me take you all to a trip to one of the most beautiful quaint little village situated in North Bengal in Kalimpong district named Rishyap. This was my second visit to the place since the first which was a one night two days stay left me wanting for more. This time we thought of spending 5 days there to drink in the beauty of the place to our utmost satisfaction.

It was an October evening when we reached Rishyap. We checked-in into a resort named Kanchanview and as the name suggests it had a beautiful garden in front with seating areas where you can sit and stare at the mighty Kanchenjungha. Though the Kanchenjungha was totally covered with clouds at that point in time, we were hit by the biting cold and no amount of rum was of much help. As darkness fell, the hills below lit up as if all the stars have come down to Earth. It was a sight which I must have seen a hundred times but it still mesmerizes me.

The next morning I was awakened by my fellow travelers at 4.30 am and I rushed out with my camera (ready on the tripod) to see what I had come here for …… the Kanchenjunga standing proud with a golden glow spreading its aura around. I started clicking pictures not wanting to let go off any moment of the constantly changing beauty of the mountains. The sunrise was another spectacular view which is beyond any description.

After having a sumptuous breakfast, we went about exploring the village and by the time it was lunch hour we were ravenous and hogged like pigs. That evening we decided to have a bonfire and bar-be-que. We were faced with a few hostilities from the resort owners when we asked for some extra wood that left us thinking about the change in their attitude within the last few years. The so called ‘pahari people’ were known to be a very friendly lot but this time we didn’t really get to see their amicable side. The next day we went trekking to Tifindhara …… a 3 km trek covering 2000 ft. The trek through dense forest with hill on one side and trench on the other seemed to dip into abyss. Huffing and puffing we reached the view point of Tifindhara which gives a 360 degree view of the mountain range. We, however, couldn’t see anything since it was covered with clouds but nonetheless spent a great time on the hilltop.

The consecutive days were spent visiting the Lava Monastery, Lolegaon canopy walk and another lovely village named Charkhole spread out on a hilltop. The drive through the coniferous forests and hilly roads were amazing. Every nook and corner was blessed by abundant beauty.

The last day of our stay was made memorable by the sight of the entire mountain range with about 6 important peaks (so the locals informed us) as if the bride decides to bid us farewell by lifting the veil from her face. We came back satisfied, happy, fulfilled and charged up to face the busy city life.

A Weekend trip to Dagara

If you are tired from the hustle and bustle of city life and desire to escape to a quite place, Dagara is the spot you need to go. A quaint fishing village, 6 hrs drive from Kolkata, situated on the coast of Orissa, this place houses a PWD Inspection bungalow which can accommodate 2 families/ 6-7 members at a time. If you are looking for comfort and luxury, this place is not for you. The accommodation is very basic and there is a caretaker to cook for you or help you out. Do remember to carry all the rations as the nearest market is 12-15 kms away. If I haven’t already scared you and put you in a re-thinking mode, let me get into the details of the place.


About 5 hours drive on the National Highway brought us to a bifurcation from the main road which meandered its way to Baliapal, a small town which hosts the BDO Office. The road was quite pathetic and it was a test of driving skill. We checked in there and made the necessary payments for our stay at the Inspection Bungalow (IB). Surprisingly, the onward journey was quite comfortable as the roads were smooth till the village. It went through paddy fields and villages. We arrived at the IB, which was a 2 room accommodation standing alone in a field with only a small temple as its company, just during lunchtime. The caretaker, who knew of our arrival, had a meal of rice and spicy chicken curry ready for us. We could hear the waves just across the casuarina plantation and we wanted to check it out at first.




So, after dumping our baggages and supply, we sprinted off to the beach. It was just us throughout the vast expanse, as long as our eyes could see. A few fishermen here and there were the only other living beings. We decided to go back, have our lunch and a short siesta and then come back in the evening for a relaxed dip in the sea.



At around 4.00 p.m., we went to the sea for our dip and stayed a good 2 hours enjoying the sand and the water well after the sunset as there was no one else to bother us apart from red crabs, which were quite a shy species.



The rest of the evening was spent gossiping with drinks and snacks that the caretaker dished out from the supplies we gave him. The caretaker told us that we can buy fresh fishes from the fisherman when they are back from their catch in the sea. So we decided that we will do so first thing in the next morning.

Next morning, after tea and breakfast we set off for the beach. We walked for about 5 -6 kms until we came to the place where the fishermen were hauling the net out of the sea. It was a tedious and time taking task and we sat there watching them.



After about 2 hours what came out was really rewarding. Never in my life had I seen so many fishes together. The fishermen became busy sorting out their catch as the buyers waited and so did we. After that we bought prawns and pomphrets (about 4 kgs in all) from them at a meager amount of Rs. 250/-.




We returned to the I.B and as the women got into washing and peeling the shells of the fishes, the men prepared the site for bar-b-que. We prepared the fish and set it for marination. Once the fire was ready and crackling, a wire mesh was set on it, and the marinated fishes were set. We all sat around the fire, plates in our hand, ready to pounce on the smoked fishes. Potatoes, wrapped in foil went directly into the fire and it was then peeled and served with butter along with the bar-b-qued prawns and pomphrets. It was a true gastroenteromic experience. We sat there late into the night, fire crackling, listening to the night calls, chatting amongst ourselves in a full moon night, which is a rarity in citylife.






Next morning it was time to wrap up to be back to the city grind and continue with our daily chores with a refreshed mind.

Free or Still Captive????

In today’s world when everybody talks of Women Liberation, I am forced to think ….. are the modern women liberated in the true sense? Well, they have achieved a lot in terms of career ……… be it going to the space or holding prestigious positions in MNCs or better still becoming the President of a country. But have they achieved in breaking down the social demarcation which still holds them back??

Being an Indian, let me bring out facts from my own country where mythologies depict Indian women as educated and liberated but even there we get to see an instance where Sita had to prove her purity after being brought out from Ravana’s den. This holds true even now ….. be it the conservative society or the so- called modern one. Nobody questions a guy who stays away from home overnight but a girl is expected to justify about her whereabouts.

There are numerous cases of brides being tortured for dowry, girls being sold for prostitution, new borns being killed if it’s a female, families mourning and torturing a woman if she is unable to produce a boy and instead gives birth to a girl. There are still people who believe that education is a prerogative for the boys and girls need to learn household chores in order to become a good home-maker. Even in the urban section, where ladies have managed to come out of the closet and step into the men’s world, working with them on the same foothold, cases of sexual harassment is a common menace they face day in and day out.

Now let me come to the very mundane instances and this holds true for every woman, be it the modern city girl or a small towner. A woman, after becoming a mother is expected to dedicate her life towards the child …. And she does it on her own free will …. even if it entails giving up her flourishing career but a man’s life, who becomes a parent too, is hardly affected neither professionally nor socially. Men after coming home from office have the liberty to rest but a woman is supposed to take up household chores after returning. It’s her duty, she is born to do it but if men help with the household chore, he is being kind and helpful…… and the list goes on.

So today I want my friends/readers to take a few minutes out to give me answers to the big question I have in mind ………. Is Today’s Women really liberated? Will they ever be??

Remembering her...

She is the most valuable creation of God yet the most neglected. A figure who stays besides us during every breath we take, cares for us with all her being and loves us unconditionally ...... Yes, I am talking about our Mother ...... Today when I am a Mom myself, I feel her essence more than ever....

When my daughter rebukes me for being strict to her, i feel i am not wanted or at other times when she hugs me lovingly and says 'Mom u r the best' ..... it's like i have all the best things in life!!!

There were many a times, when i and mom didn't get along on something and i used to shout at her, never did i realise then as to how she must have felt ..... Many a times, i haughtily attributed her selfless care for me "Its your duty as a Mother, big deal....".

I remember her patiently sitting and feeding me for hours (i had this habit of sitting with my mouth full of food and not swallowing them)...... and now how disgusted and impatient i feel when my daughter does the same ...... i scold her, threaten her so that she finishes her food fast and i can go and catch on some sleep. Did i ever think that my mom too needed to rest??? During my teens, though i used to share every thing with mom, i felt somewhere she didn't understand me or didn't want to, specially when she didn't allow me to do certain things which i wanted... i rebelled, complained to Dad, hoping Dad would scold mom .... little did i realise then that they were for my own good.

As i grew, we did get very close, she was the only one with whom i could share everything under the sun .... be it being proposed by someone, a crush on some good looking guy or coaxing dad to give permission to go to discotheques with friends ..... even after marriage, there wasn't a single day when i didn't call her up to talk about the happennings of the day ..... even now, after 5 years of losing her, i still have this severe compulsion to call her up and talk to her ...... if only there was a telephone connectivity to heaven ..... i could have spoken to her... there are so many things i want to share with her....... things like what i bought for the upcoming pujas, about my husband's new job, about my daughter's achievement, about so many other things...... if only ...

I MISS YOU MAA ....... NOBODY CAN FILL THE VACCUUM YOUR ABSENCE HAS CREATED IN MY LIFE...